Fear for the Future
by invisiblespark
Summary: Lily is doing her prefect rounds and stumbles upon a group of Slytherin's. Sirius comes to her rescue and they form a sort of friendship. Set during the Marauder's 5th year.


It was Lily's first patrol as a prefect and she had been lumbered with Goyle, that Slytherin idiot. She had no idea how he'd ever been made a prefect because as far as she could see, he had the intelligence of a flea and was barely able to tell his left from right, let alone cope with the responsibilities of being a prefect.

Luckily for her, he'd seemed eager to get the patrol finished with and so had allowed them to separate. This left her alone with her thoughts, which was all she had wanted anyway and now she would be able to do the job properly without his irritating presence.

As she strolled along the 4th floor corridor heading towards the Owlery, which was a common place to find students out of bed, she let her thoughts wander to a certain Gryffindor and his relentless pursuit of her.

James Potter was an annoying prat. Sure, he was good looking but urgh...he was so arrogant. She tried to convince herself that this was all true as she realised her thoughts were straying in a different direction, where she thought that he was quite intelligent, handsome and funny, but no. She was Lily Evans and she would not let James know she had ever thought anything like that. Ever.

From James her thoughts strayed to another boy. However, deep down she knew this one was even more unsuitable for her than James, if that was possible, but she wanted him all the same.

Sirius Black, he was the bad boy. A real charmer when it came to the ladies, but he had no respect at all and his pranks were worse than James'. He was too attractive for his own good but when he smirked, Lily couldn't help but swoon a little inside.

She knew he would never go for her though as he respected James too much and compared to all the other girls who draped themselves across him, she was rather plain and conservative.

Completely lost in thought, she tripped on the corner flagstone as she turned into a new corridor. Looking up she saw a group of older Slytherin's and quickly hurried back around the corner and hid behind a tapestry.

'What was that?' she heard one of them say.

'I don't know,' said another, 'go check it out Severus.'

She heard footsteps approaching and drew further into the shadows, holding her breath, hoping that she wouldn't be discovered.

Snape turned the corner and shot a quick detection charm down the corridor. Lily lit up and sighed, hoping that Snape would still have enough loyalty to her to not tell the others she was there.

Staying silent, Snape ripped the tapestry back and upon seeing that it was her hissed, 'Go!'

He gave her a quick shove to make sure that she was moving and then returned to the others without a backward glance. Lily took the opportunity to run down the corridor, away from the Slytherin's because although she was a prefect, she was scared of what the Slytherin's would do to her, especially Bellatrix Black, who famously hated Muggleborn's and was seeming more and more mentally unstable every day.

She gave one last look over her shoulder as she turned to get out the corridor, wishing that Severus would come with her and forget about all his scary Pureblood fanatic friends.

Suddenly she slammed into something invisible and promptly fell over. The something laughed and Lily shuffled to put her back against the nearest wall, scared of the invisible wall.

Then there was a quick rustle and Sirius Black appeared in front of her.

'Black! What the hell are you doing here?'

'Save it! We'll do this later. We need to get further away from the Slytherin's first.'

He grabbed her hand and started dragging her in the opposite direction from which he had came.

Lily resisted as best she could and said, 'No, not till me tell you why you're out of bed, wearing that blasted invisibility cloak!'

'Oh for love of Merlin! The Slytherin's are going to hear us in a minute,' he replied before darting forward and unceremoniously hoisting her over his shoulder and forcibly removing her from the 4th floor.

'Sirius Black, you put me down this instant!' Lily cried hitting her fists against his back.

Sirius thought it safer not to reply and so just stayed silent and carried her to the secret tapestry that concealed the passage to the Gryffindor common room. Sweeping aside the tapestry he not so gently set Lily down just inside the passageway.

'Black, you great oaf, what the hell do you think you're playing at? You can't just pick me up like I'm a sack of potatoes and why were you even on that floor at this time of night?'

'Woah! Easy red! I...Look I know we don't get on very well, but there's something I should tell you. I...erm...well.'

'The famous Sirius Black lost for words in front of a girl. What is happening to the world?' Lily couldn't resist saying when she saw how uncomfortable Sirius was.

'Look Lily, you and I both know that's not what I meant. Okay, basically the Marauders, that's me, James, Remus and Peter have a map that shows us where everyone is in the castle and I was just sat on my bed looking at it and I saw you headed towards that group of Slytherin's and so I thought I'd come and see if you were alright.'

'_You_ came to see if _I_ was alright? Why would you do that? It's not even like we're friends' Lily spluttered, 'That doesn't even make sense.'

'My best mate's in love with you, he'd kill me if I let anything happen to you and well...I know what those Slytherin's are capable of. I grew up around them remember. You...you should be careful.'

'Potter...what? He can't...he just asks me out to annoy me. He doesn't have real feelings for me. No, he doesn't like me like that. He can't, I'm sure of it. He doesn't...love me.'

'Erm...Lily, if you're done repeating that to yourself like a lunatic, let me tell you that James does honestly really care about you. He just...he doesn't know how to tell you properly because he's an idiot. Well no, he's...look he's just scared you'll reject him properly if he tells you how he feels.'

'I..err..okay,' was all that Lily was capable of saying. She just found it so weird because James, no Potter she corrected herself was just so arrogant and full of himself that there was no way that he would actually like her, but why would Sirius lie. I mean he's his best friend. Wow, this is so confusing. Lily couldn't quite work out if James liking her was a good or bad thing though, she just felt emotionally messed up.

'Earth to Lily...wow you're conversational skills today can't stop amazing me...' Sirius chuckled to himself, smirking that bad boy smirk down at her. Lily's knees buckled a little, glad that it was semi-dark behind the tapestry as she could feel her face going red.

'Now where was I.. oh yes, you really need to keep away from the Slytherin's.'

Lily cut across him, 'Black I'm not a child, I can handle myself.'

'Look Evans, that gathering consisted of at least 2 members of my family if not more. I know all too well what there plans are,' Sirius said bitterly, hurt flashing so briefly across his face that Lily wouldn't have noticed if she wasn't staring right at him, 'They're going to join Voldemort, most by choice, others by obligation and you know what? Voldemort believes this world should be cleansed of all muggleborn's so you need to keep out of their way.'

'I live in this world too Black. I know there's unrest. I'm not an imbecile,' Lily snapped back.

'You don't know what their capable of...' Sirius replied. The words just falling out of his mouth without thought. He snapped his mouth shut quickly and leant back against the cold stone wall of the tunnel they were in. He squeezed his eyes closed tightly and his lips drew into a thin line. He took a few deep breaths, as if he was trying to control himself.

Lily watched all this in confusion. Sure, she knew that the Dark Lord was gathering a following, especially among the older Slytherin students and Pureblood family's, but all she knew was from rumours going around the school and she had assumed it wasn't going to be that serious. The ministry had loads of Aurors and the school would be safe as Dumbledore was the greatest wizard of the time, but looking at Black's face and demeanor she thought maybe he knew something she didn't.

'Sirius...? Are you okay?'

'You called me Sirius,' Sirius said, a smirk breaking out on his face, 'You never call me Sirius.'

'Quit avoiding the question Black,' Lily growled, 'you can't just scare me like that and the not explain!'

'I...'

This nervous Sirius was something Lily wasn't used to. It surprised her, but also made her even more curious as to what was going on because she had never seen anything affect him in this way. He was always so unflappable. Sirius suddenly spoke again startling her.

'All these rumours you've been hearing, aren't rumours. _The_ _noble house of black,' _even though he taunted his family name, the pain on his face was evident, 'supports the psychopath so I am _privileged _to know, as much as anyone can know, his plans. He believes that...muggleborns are inferior and plans to...eradicate them. War is coming...and we'll all have to pick a side...'

'You're scaring me...you sound so serious.'

'That's because it's real! You have to understand me. This is going to happen. The wizarding world will be divided. People will be forced to choose sides.'

'Well I don't get to choose!'

'Believe me, I wish I didn't have to...' Sirius said as he sank to the floor, 'My family are such strong supporters but at the same time everything he stands for is everything that's wrong in the world. I don't know if I'm a strong enough person...'

Lily stared down at him for a minute, unsure of what to do, before deciding that joining him on the dusty tunnel floor was the best option.

'Lily, I don't know what to do!' Sirius cried, burying his head in his hands.

Lily put her arm around him, not knowing how she could comfort him from something she didn't even understand. It seemed to be the right thing to do though, as he laid his head on her shoulder and sighed.

'Sirius, you're a good person. I know you'll do what's right...' Lily started.

'But that's the thing! I don't know what is right. All my life I've been brought up with the idea that Muggleborn's are inferior...but then I came here and met...well, people like you who are smart, funny and nice.'

At this Lily's head shot up and she looked at him weirdly. They'd never been friends and she didn't think he'd ever properly noticed her, except for the fact that Potter liked to irritate her. Sirius continued on obliviously, 'I don't believe blood purity matters anymore but if I don't...if I'm not on _his_ side...my family won't want to ever see me again. I don't want to leave Regulus as the only son to carry the expectations that should be mine. He's not as strong as I am...but I don't think I can fight for the side I don't believe in.'

'Oh, Sirius...' Lily breathed. She didn't know anything she could say that would make it at all better. Sure her family, especially her sister Petunia, thought she was a bit weird but deep down she knew her parent's loved her and would support her whatever she did.

'It's alright, you don't have to say anything...it's my dilemma...I don't even know why I told you...you're the only one who knows I'll be disowned if I don't join the Death Eater's you know. I guess it just doesn't come up in everyday conversation!' Sirius said bitterly.

'I'm glad you told me though. You shouldn't have to go round everyday carrying that by yourself. I know you feel a sense of duty to your family but you should know that even without them you have a family of your own making in Potter, Lupin and to some extent Pettigrew although I don't know why you guys hang out with him. He's really creepy.'

'Yeah, I suppose you're right. I guess I've never been that close to my real family because they were just interested in how my behaviour reflected upon them and about how could improve their social standing. God, they are so selfish!'

'I guess it's the way they were brought up too though. I'm guessing they had an arranged marriage...?' Lily left the question open and only started speaking again after she felt Sirius give a half nod against her shoulder, 'and they probably had their lives all planned out for them, carrying out the tradition of generations.'

'Well, the traditions are too old fashioned now! James took me to Muggle London in the summer holidays and they've moved on so much. I don't know why the Pureblood families can't see that change needs to happen. In Muggle London people of all different races, religions and social classes coexist happily and people aren't afraid to wear what they want, but for a Pureblood wizard it's scandalous to have even a friendly conversation with a Muggleborn and let alone be friends with them!'

'It will change! Our generation will make it so. If this war you talk about is coming, it will force people to reconsider their ideas and question their loyalties. The majority of wizards are half-bloods anyway and they all know Muggleborns and accept them. The only one's that really give me trouble around here are the Slytherin Pureblood's, most of the other's are fine and you even claim that Potter...loves me and he's a Pureblood so some people's opinion's must have changed a bit at least. Even if it's not much, it is a start.'

'Yeah but I don't know what side will win! And I don't know what side I'll be on...I wish I didn't have to choose...even if they are horrible, they still brought me up...it would be strange to fight against everything I know...but Dumbledore is right. The world needs to change...I could never forgive myself if I fought on the wrong side. I'll just have to try to convince Regulus and if not then...'

Lily sat in silence, letting Sirius' thought process wash over her, she knew there was little she could do for him but listen and over him support by just being there. As her hand idly wandered over his head, mussing up his hair, she realised that he had stopped speaking and was now just breathing slowly and steadily, trying to calm himself and prepare himself for the future.

If he was going to be on their side, he was going to have to be really strong, stronger than she thought she ever could be, and she knew in that moment, that whatever their past history of mutual dislike, she would be there for him.

The silence between them was comfortable in a way it never had been before. Lily supposed they were kind of friends now. Well, they at least understood each other and in the future knew they could work amicably together.

They continued to sit there. Sirius' head had now shifted to lie in Lily's lap and Lily thought that he must have fallen asleep. Lily was starting to feel the coldness of the floor seep through her school robes, but decided to let him rest as it was clear his outburst had taken a lot out of him.

It was brave of him to tell her about what was happening and she respected him for it. She now saw him in a new light, understood that behind the cold harsh exterior and smooth charms of a Pureblood, there was deep internal conflict and a depth of emotion and struggles that she could barely imagine. The pressure of his choice was much more than she had ever endured and was way too much for him to be carrying on his own. She resolved to be nicer to him from then on.

As she mulled over all this new information in her head, she knew that she had already decided that she would be an active fighter in the war that was to come. She knew it would be hard, but it was what she wanted to do. She knew that over all she probably would be insignificant but that if more people like her decided to fight there would be more chance of the world becoming a better place for future generations. It only takes a few brave people to change the world.

Thinking about this made her forget how cold and rough the tunnel floor was and eventually she too fell into a restless sleep.

'Lily, Lily, wake up,' she heard from somewhere far away, 'Lily it's 9 o'clock! We're going to miss breakfast.'

'Urgh go away,' Lily mumbled under her breath. Then suddenly she realised that she wasn't lying down, but was sat upright against something knobbly and that whatever was underneath her was not her soft mattress.

Her eyes shot open, 'Where am I?' she exclaimed, 'Sirius what the hell...oh...last night. I remember now...erm...'

'It's alright you don't need to say anything. Come on let's just go down to breakfast. Everyone will be wondering where we are.'

'Let me just say I'm sorry for judging you. My previous opinion of you was uncalled for.'

'It's fine. I know that I act like a bit of a player and mess around a lot but I guess everyone just has different ways of coping.'

Right then, Sirius' stomach rumbled and so he bounded over to the tapestry sweeping it aside for Lily with a theatrical bow. She giggled and knocked into him as she passed by.

And that was the start of Lily's friendship with the Marauders.


End file.
